OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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