Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
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