well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
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