you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
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Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
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Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Pulled a muscle in my back masturbating. But still listed as probable.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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