He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
