Me too!
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Randomize
