Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
