Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
