I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Randomize
