pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Randomize
