i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
