They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
These 19 People Are Into The Grossest Sex Fetishes
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
People Weigh In On Whether It’s Okay to Bang Your Roommate
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?