life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite