You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.