I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
Alcohol only hurts me because he loves me.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation