so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire