is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Randomize
