Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
