Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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