she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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