I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Drunk is a universal language darling
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
