He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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