hotel room ftw
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
