It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
How does it feel to date your dad?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
