i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
Randomize
