Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
