If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
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Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
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You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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