You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
