So I have $4.22 in my bank account, just wrote a check for a tooth brush from quikmart, and bought a 25 cent condom from the bathroom. i don't know whats more sad, my bank account or the fact that i'm entrusting my entire future to a condom machine that was probably last filled in 1970
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
