Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
