Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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