Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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