Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Let's paint friendship bongs
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
