Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Randomize
