Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
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