no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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