u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
