HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
