i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
