she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
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