Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize