32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize