Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
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