Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Randomize
