Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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