1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
