I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
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