the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
Randomize
