i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
