So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
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it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
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ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." π ππ·
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
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