YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
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