My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
Randomize
