i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
