At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
