I like my sex mixed with concussions.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
