so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize