He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
