I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
