You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
