I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Randomize
